Gruel: It's What's for Dinner (Courtesy of the MVNHS©)

If you're a hungry Englishman, it appears that you'll eat far better as a criminal than a patient:

"Patients in Health Service hospitals are far more likely to go hungry than criminals in jail."

So say a group of British scientists at the Bournemouth University. According to a new study undertaken by the university, " (j)ail diets are "better than most civilians have ... But people on NHS wards do not get the same standard and staff do not check if the food is eaten."

According to Dr John Edwards [ed: no, not that John Edwards], the problems include:

■ patients aren't eating enough (and the staff aren't paying attention to that)

■ because services are so fragmented, there is little (if any) follow-up by medical staff

■ "trays are removed by cleaning staff so doctors do not know how much was eaten"

In short, it appears that these facilities just don't seem to care how well (or poorly) their patients are eating, leading to malnourishment and hindering recovery.

So, health care is free under the MVNHS©, but apparently health isn't.