Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Stupid Insurance

I have discovered a niche market. Can't figure out why no one has thought of this before. Like the pet rock, this fills a need.

I call it Stupid Insurance.

What does Stupid Insurance cover?

All the things people want insurance to cover but doesn't. Here are just a few that have come to my attention over the last few months. All are the result of conversations with real people.

Warning. This is not for amateurs. Do not attempt this at home.

Sterilization reversal. Stupid Insurance will cover the cost of reversing a tubal ligation. No waiting period. Perhaps they will throw in maternity coverage at no additional charge and guarantee you a beautiful baby. The government will also give your baby a $5,000 savings bond.

My doctor says I need to be tested insurance. Stupid Insurance can be purchased immediately after your doc tells you that you need extensive testing such as MRI, CT or even surgical biopsy. The cost of these tests could run several thousand dollars so you need to call and get an insurance policy now. Stupid Insurance will cover any and all testing as well as the follow up treatment. Warning. Stupid Insurance does not cover testing to see if you have a working brain.

I got sick and now I can't afford it coverage. Stupid Insurance can be purchased at any time, including following diagnosis of a major illness including heart disease, cancer, stroke, diabetes. All medication & treatment is covered at zero out of pocket to the patient. Stupid Insurance should only be purchased AFTER you need it.

I don't know how it happened. We only did it once. Stupid Insurance can be purchased after conception and will cover all pre-natal, delivery & post-partum charges. Stupid Insurance will throw in free cigars for the proud dad (if you know who the father is).

I don't know what it is but it really hurts insurance. Stupid Insurance will cover all testing and treatment for your undiagnosed illness or injury. Full coverage, no waiting period. Disclaimer. If it doesn't hurt, Stupid Insurance will not cover it.

I didn't buy insurance before because I wasn't sick, but now I need it insurance. No worry, Stupid Insurance will cover it. If you cannot afford the premiums someone from the government will find some stupid taxpayers to pay them for you.

These are just a few things Stupid Insurance can do. I probably missed a few, but these are a start.

I cannot figure out why carriers have not hit on this market before.
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