Old school or Gold Rule?

So here's the scenario:

I sell a life insurance policy from Carrier A. The insured dies, and her beneficiary files the claim directly with the carrier (likely out-of-area relative who doesn't know I'm even involved). The carrier not only doesn't send the check to me for delivery, but doesn't even notify me that the claim has been made.

So I call them on this, and they say that they have no way to make the connection (even though they eventually notify me when he claim is settled, after the check's cleared, so they obviously can connect those dots).

I think that:

1) The carrier is obligated to inform me that a claim has been made, and

2) Is also obligated to send me the check unless I tell them otherwise.

I am livid.

But am I wrong?

In consulting with colleagues around the country, it seems that I am a bit behind the times on insisting on delivering the claim check personally (where possible). And I'm okay, albeit disappointed, with that.

But there's also agreement that the carrier needed to alert me the instant the claim was filed.

So, I'd be interested in our readers' take: