Monday, April 28, 2014

Vanilla is Vanilla

My kids love our favorite local ice cream joint. The soft serve isn't what draws them though. It is the fact that they have so many different choices of sundaes and toppings. From a "Mud Sundae" with crushed Oreos, hot fudge, and gummy worms to the quart sized "hot fudge cake" there is something for everyone.

All of that is about to change. Later this week legislation is being introduced on the Affordable Ice Cream Act (AICA). You see, the cost for these heavenly sundaes has been rising lately and the government feels that they need to step in and change the way people purchase the product and make it more affordable for everyone.

In order to make it affordable the government is setting standards for what is available. You will now only be able to choose from chocolate, vanilla, strawberry, and twist. If you are under the age of 12 you can get Neapolitan. The only variation of ingredients can be in the fat content of the dairy products you use. No longer will you be able to have any toppings and all serving sizes will be measured to the ounce. Because of this, every ice cream shop in town would now be the same. Prices will be close and the only difference will be in taste.

Everyone must purchase ice cream or they will pay a penalty. The only people who can qualify for an exemption are those who can prove that they are lactose sensitive (yes, there is a difference from lactose intolerant).

For the sake of "professional development" I told my boys about this crazy new law yesterday afternoon. The reaction from them was priceless. The older two didn't believe it and actually made fun of the thought that anyone would eliminate toppings. The four year old wasn't happy. He really believed that he wouldn't be able to get a twist with sprinkles and smiley face.

The next time you step up to order a Topsy Tervy - or my personal favorite the Buckeye Sundae - think about Obamacare. Because in the health insurance world pretty soon the most creative option left will be the basic cone with twist ice cream.
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