Friday, June 28, 2013

Hunger Games and the MVNHS©

Sometimes, the headline really is the story:

Nearly 1,200 people have starved to death in NHS hospitals because 'nurses are too busy to feed patients'

On the one hand, this apparently took place over four years, so that (presumably) "only" about 300 Brits per year were killed off this way. Still, death by starvation is no treat:

"Pain in the stomach often quickly develops, then can turn into digestive and waste-related syndromes such as severe and painful constipation followed by uncontrollable diarrhea. Early symptoms of starvation include faintness, weakness, and dizziness. Thirst may also rapidly increase."

Oh, and apparently starvation isn't the only problem facing patients victims of the Much Vaunted National Health Service©:

"[F]or every patient who dies from malnutrition, four more have dehydration mentioned on their death certificate."

No big deal, really: just think of it as a very dry Liverpool.

And speaking of the MVNHS
© and pools, the good news for "aspiring glamour model" Josie Cunningham is that she'll be a knockout in a bikini. That's because the rocket plastic surgeons at the Much Vaunted National Health Service© gave the go-ahead for her "upgrade" to 36DD (and no, that's not her seat number).

The bad news is that these same folks took a pass on "upgrading" 2-year old aspiring walker Oliver Dockerty. Apparently the boobs in charge at the MVNHS
© found Ms Cunningham's case more, ahem, compelling. After all, why would any two-year-old want to walk?
blog comments powered by Disqus