Thursday, November 01, 2007

Captain Obvious to the Rescue

Okay, I admit it: I listen to the Bob & Tom Show on my way in to work most mornings. For those unfamiliar with B&T and the crew, suffice it to say that they are irreverent, not-quite-obscene, and (usually) hilarious. One of their on-going "bits" is a call-in show whose host, Mr Obvious, has to deal with the same dense, utterly clueless caller every time. From how to cook a Thanksgiving turkey ("first, it must be a dead turkey") to an errant garbage disposer, it's fun to hear his exasperation.
But it's not so fun when we have to actually pay for answers that Mr Obvious could easily have handled for free. Recently, Bryce Edmonds wrote about 10 such studies for MSN. It's a veritable "who's who" of misguided studies that ostensibly rational scientists undertook (and for which they were paid). Among their brilliant findings:
■ "Scientists have proven that, yes indeed, air pollution is bad for you."
■ "In the September Emergency Medicine Journal, researchers reported that traveling longer distances in an ambulance meant you were more likely to die before you got to the emergency room."
And this gem:
■ “It is a matter of common sense that a person is easier to recognize when close than when far away.” (But that didn't stop the National Institute of Mental Health from underwriting a study to test that)
In case your blood pressure is running a little low today, go take a gander.
But if it's on the high side, you should know that "(m)eetings stress out employees," so you should probably skip the next one. Really!
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