Friday, September 10, 2010

Paying for Obamacare

Does anyone know how Obamacare is funded? The tooth fairy? Manna from Heaven? Santa Claus? China?

We came across a secret transcript from a meeting of elected officials whose identity has been scrubbed to protect them from further embarrassment.

"We need a way to pay for this health care bill without actually raising taxes. Suggestions?"

Dumb ass #1: "Let's do a specific industry wide tax on medical equipment companies. I can't see that raising health care costs."

Dumb ass #2: "Let's eliminate using HSA's for OTC drugs to create more tax revenue. This package is going to be so good, everyone will be able to buy prescription drugs anyway."

Dumb ass #3 - "Let's require health insurance companies to issue coverage to anyone, regardless of their health. Sure, this will increase premiums dramatically but then we can tax people because their premiums are too high. We can also tax people who don't buy health insurance."

Dumb ass #4 - "Let's add a bunch of new benefits such as preventive care and tell everyone it is free. They will love it!"

Dumb ass #5: "Let's make huge cuts to Medicare and tell the public that coverage won't be effected. Oh you think the public will ask why we didn't do this earlier if we had the ability? Oh never mind, they're too stupid."

Dumb ass #6: "Let's just tell the clinics we'll pay them less, it worked for Medicare, why not for everyone? Oh, you're saying the under 65 market subsidizes the clinics through higher premiums? No problem, we're the federal government, they'll have to do more with less."

Dumb ass #7: "Why don't we increase Medicaid eligibility to more people and make the states pick up the tab. Well, except for Nevada and Florida since we want to get re-elected."

"Good work guys, next problem to solve? We need to find away to get more voters in our corner, why don't we give citizenship to everyone in this country illegally?" 

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