Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water, or at least to believe that Britain's National Health Service couldn't, um, sink any lower, we land this whopper:
A health trust is planning to spend £400,000 on a 72ft yacht to help jobless teenagers make better "lifestyle choices."
And precisely why is the alleged "health" service laying out almost seven hundred thousand dollars? To "improve the long-term health prospects of teenagers," of course.
But Henry, how will spending time on a yacht help young people live healthier lives?
I'm so glad you asked, dear reader. Although the answer may not seem obvious to you (or, to be fair, to me), we must trust those righteous stewards of the MVNHS© to make wise choices for the better good.
To wit, the masterminds at the NHS think that it's a grand idea to take 150 unemployed teenagers and put them to work on The Love Boat. That works out, by the way, to almost $5,000 a teen (gratuities not included, of course).
And what will these young Horatio Algers do that will improve their health? Well, according to the MVNHS©, "people in employment are less likely to have long-term health issues.” Of course, no citation was offered bolstering this rather startling assessment, but who are we to question the medical expertise of these health experts?
Turns out, there is someone willing to call them out (Hooray!). One of Hull City's elected officials, Steve Brady, says it best: "What I am absolutely concerned about is the misuse of public money."